All the Things I'm Atoning For This Yom Kippur

It's the day of atonement! It's about way more than just heartfelt/passive aggressive apologies!!! Only 4 people will read this!!! Thanks update!!!
  1. Crying in front of the Target pharmacy clerk while buying a pregnancy test
    Sorry to her and sorry to me
  2. Forgetting to shave my legs before a pedicure
    Sorry to the women of Passion Nail Spa
  3. All the times I've accidentally stepped on my dog
    Sorry Lenny you are so tiny
  4. Being rude to the Uber drivers who didn't deserve it
    I'm sorry. I'm sure you are really nice. I am a mean drunk and an even meaner sober person.
  5. Getting makeup on 40% of the shirts I try on in fitting rooms
    I'm really sorry! I know how hard that shit is to get out. I'm especially sorry to the staff members of Madewell at the Grove and the staff members of Zara in the Topanga Mall.
  6. Breaking in to @dallison apartment at 7am to tell her something important
    Also I am sorry for burdening you with my sleeping bag. Also thank you. Also I love you.
  7. Always holding my phone in my hand/having it on the table
    I'm sorry. I know it's rude.
  8. High key ditching that Starbucks employee who asked me out
    I'm sorry. I should have been upfront with you. I WAS IN TO YOUR FRIEND
  9. Making my mom cry a lot
    Ok real
  10. Retweeting Brandon Wardell
  11. Trying to live my life in two different places at once
  12. Not being able to give the people I care about structure
  13. Making @sophiack feel bad about the phone charger situation at my godfather's house
    I'm sorry my dad made that situation explode
  14. Not having a full time job
    Or even a part time job
  15. Getting makeup on your mouth when I kissed you (this is for everyone I have kissed this 5777)
    I'm sorry I then scrubbed at your lips with my finger to try to rectify the situation. In some cases I barely knew you and that sort of thing feels oddly intimate and I bet you were uncomfortable.
  16. Peeing in a stranger's front yard in Koreatown
    I hope your plants didn't die
  17. To the stranger whose car I scratched backing out of Whole Foods
    I left my name and number at customer services. You never called.
  18. Bailing on getting a tattoo with Andrew
    Twice.
  19. Forgetting to put my phone number and email on a resume and giving it to an EP who then passed it along to several ADs
    I'm sorry I embarrassed you.
  20. Having an emotional phone conversation in front of a friend on a Friday night.
    I'm sorry to the person on the other end of the line. Even though you told me not to be.
  21. Anytime I had bad breath
    And breathed near you
  22. Stealing Julia's Jswipe date
    To get out of my own
  23. Being panicky and weird and anxious
  24. Being cold
    Hearted and temperatured
  25. Cancelling therapy appointments
  26. Screaming at my dad in a Thai restaurant
    I'm actually sorry that I didn't get to stay to eat because I went back another time and it was so good and I really missed out on what would have been a very tasty dinner that night
  27. Screwing up my birth control
    I'm sorry to myself. That was a wild and dangerous 3 months.
  28. Always taking a flight that gets delayed for some reason
    I'm sorry to myself. Why has American Airlines trapped me so??????
  29. Borrowing my sister's clothes and never giving them back
    Sorry Amanda, still going to do this.
  30. For never wearing supportive shoes
  31. For self harming
  32. For self medicating
  33. For self indulgence
  34. Anytime I posted a picture where you looked terrible and I looked amazing so I posted it
    I'm sorry
  35. I feel a little better now.