I'm throwing my hat in the race for President of The United States. 🇺🇸

Are you fed up with political rhetoric? Wish there was a candidate who actually had a plan? Do you also wish that candidate had very little experience and would be cracking jokes constantly? Look no further.
  1. THIS IS MY PLATFORM:
  2. Get rid of the penny.
    Sure, you've probably heard this before. They don't make financial sense. Let's just get rid of them. We collect them all, then take them to a bank that hasn't heard about the new law. We trade them in for dollars and use the profits to balance the budget.
  3. Mandatory Sunday Brunch
    Every Sunday, each town, village etc would put on a no cost Sunday brunch. No talking religion or politics. Just local folks all having breakfast together once a week. That's how you build community.
  4. Not saying "thank you" when someone holds a door for you is now the same as murder.
    You will be tried in public for an added shame factor. Also, while in prison, you'd have to wear a shirt that says "I'm a jerk".
  5. Get rid of daylight savings time.
    It's the same time everywhere now. You're welcome.
  6. THESE ARE MY DEMANDS:
  7. Everyone has to call me Jack Powers now.
    Way cooler name, right? I'll need to have a powerful name to lead the nation.
  8. Tough guys should still appear to be threatened by me.
    I'm not very strong, but that doesn't mean strong guys should be able to make me subconscious about it. Maybe they bow? Idk
  9. Zero oversight.
    I don't need a bunch of politicians telling me how to run the country. I got this.
  10. My name is Devin and I approve this message.