Last minute gift ideas for my birthday

So you dropped the ball. It's my birthday and you totally forgot. It's cool. There is still time. I even have a few last minute ideas.
  1. β€’
    Smite my enemies. 😑
    Even smiting someone who has cut me off in traffic would do the trick.
  2. β€’
    Pay off my debt. πŸ’°
    No worries. I have enough to go around.
  3. β€’
    Draw me a picture. ✏️
    Make it classy. Something with cats.
  4. β€’
    Harass the folks at until they add me to the recommended accounts. πŸ‘ŠπŸ»
    Annoying people until I get my way since 1984.
  5. β€’
    Go retweet one of my tweets. πŸ”‚
    I'm a sucker for digital validation.
  6. β€’
    Re-list one of my lists. πŸ”
    Again, see above.
  7. β€’
    Tell a friend about me. πŸ’¬
    "Oh man you have to check this guy out. He's really funny and doesn't seem desperate for attention at all." You can paraphrase.
  8. β€’
    If all else fails, send cash.