Names of wood ranked by how old I think they'd be if they were people

Just go with me on this.
  1. 1.
    Birch
    Just a punk teenager. smh
  2. 2.
    Cherry
    In his 20s. Pretty full of himself.
  3. 3.
    Oak
    34 years old exactly. Is finally "figuring things out".
  4. 4.
    Hickory
    40s-50s. He's been around the block a few times.
  5. 5.
    Walnut
    60s-70s. Set in his ways and kind of a curmudgeon.
  6. 6.
    Mahogany
    80s+. Gives zero fucks. Grows where we wants. Also passes gas without realizing it and we're all supposed to pretend we didn't notice.