Names of wood ranked by how old I think they'd be if they were people
Just go with me on this.
- •BirchJust a punk teenager. smh
- •CherryIn his 20s. Pretty full of himself.
- •Oak34 years old exactly. Is finally "figuring things out".
- •Hickory40s-50s. He's been around the block a few times.
- •Walnut60s-70s. Set in his ways and kind of a curmudgeon.
- •Mahogany80s+. Gives zero fucks. Grows where we wants. Also passes gas without realizing it and we're all supposed to pretend we didn't notice.