1. Guy who chooses which side of the toaster is for the "single slice".
    Most toasters have a "single side" so let's all just agree this is bullshit. Furthermore, if there IS one side that is meant for a single slice, does that mean my two slices won't be treated equally. Either way... Bullshit.
  2. Marketing team for Cadbury Creme Eggs
    Every year it's the same commercial. I mean it's a classic and I suppose if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But I imagine a room of guys all just nodding in agreement to rerun the ad, then taking the rest of the year off.
  3. Starburst Color Chooser
    Ok this person is just a dick. Not once have a picked up a package of Starbursts and been satisfied with the flavor/color distribution. "Oh an orange. Ok. Another one. Fine. 5 in a row should be a crime. Someone fix this.
  4. Gift Rapper
    Ok this job doesn't exist yet, but basically I'd have a kiosk at the mall where people could bring gifts they've purchased for others and I (for a small fee) would rap about them.