Things That Make Me the Most Kickass Girlfriend

  1. Will get you drunk and take you on wild adventures.
  2. I will go play ice hockey with you on the frozen lake behind my apartment.
  3. I come from a line of awesome European women who cook everything from scratch and I cook like a badass.
  4. Girls who grew up with brothers are a special breed.
    It makes me slightly insensitive but I can hang. Also I will shit on you but in a way that says "it's because I like you."
  5. I love EDM and dubstep and will take you to some filthy concerts.
  6. I devour books and will give you amazing reading recommendations tailored just for you. Basically you will end up loving reading if you date me.
    My love of Tolstoy is contagious, I swear.
  7. I have very stable blood sugar and don't get hangry.
    Read: easy to travel with, don't get grumpy on dates
  8. Love to travel and will drag you all over the world. In 2015 I went to: Zurich, Winterthur, Luzerne, Graz, Vienna, Berlin, Dubrovnik, Split, New York City, Los Angelos, San Diego, DC, Denver, Santa Barbara and def more that I'm forgetting.
    Oh, and Allentown, PA where I met @swetanation and fell in love, but not Austin, TX because @midrange didn't invite me 😢
  9. Great taste in TV. Let's stay in on Friday night and watch: Curb Your Enthusiasm, Flight of the Concords, Brooklyn 99, and HGTV. ✌🏽️
  10. Professional level back rubs.
  11. I haven't seen many movies so you can feel really cool introducing me to all your favorites.
    Classics I somehow missed: Mrs. Doubtfire, The Departed, The Godfather, Indiana Jones, Rocky, the list goes on and on and I should make another list about this.
  12. I will laugh at your jokes and actually I just laugh a lot. Even when I'm nervous or in pain.
    It's weird but you'll get used it and secretly love it. Honestly most things ARE funny including the terrible driver in front of you or when the waiter completely fucks up every order at that restaurant.
  13. I'm a minimalist.
    This is a good thing, you'll see.
  14. Seem like a wildchild but am really a book nerd who wants to be a neuroscientist
    So you get the best of both worlds.
  15. I want you (a lot) but don't need you.
    This is a good thing, you'll see.
  16. I wrote my senior thesis at Duke University in poetry. So I know how to express myself articulately and am an artist.
    HA just kidding. But I did do that, so tell your friends.
  17. Ok, so I'm your girlfriend now.