These things happened in the past 20 minutes
  1. Repeated "What I learned in boating school is..." in an increasingly hostile affect
    This was in response to a very serious question about what he should caption a photo.
  2. Laughed maniacally until I cried
    "Stir the pot," he said, sincerely requesting I help him with the cooking. But, I mean, come on
  3. Asked him to help me write this list because I think he's funnier than me, and then nervously probed him to see if he also thinks he's funnier than me.
    He didn't answer the question, and he also didn't help me write this list... We will all have to suffer not knowing.