FAVORITE INTERACTIONS I'VE HAD WITH CELEBRITIES

  1. Waited 30 minutes in a mall to get an autographed picture with "Zeus" Tiny Lister who was advertising for a watch company. Asked him too many questions and he said "hurry up kid we ain't married"
  2. Later i mentioned this to him on twitter and he blocked me
  3. Leo Dicaprio in character and on set as J Edgar picked up an old fashioned telephone looked at me and said "this is what they used before the internet" then went right back to being directed by Clint Eastwood
  4. An hour later during lunch i told Clint Eastwood that my dad says hi
  5. I asked Giants running back Brandon Jacobs during a midnight Halo 3 launch outside a Best Buy if i could get a picture with him. He said "sure kid". I'm probably at least 5 years older than him
  6. Met Terrence Stamp in Grand Central Station and asked him if he was Malcom McDowell. He said "i'm not but i know him"
  7. Waited in an airport security line with Richard Simmons when all of a sudden he started screaming "WE NEED MORE BINS!"
  8. Was talking to the lead singer of the Spin Doctors at The Horde Festival in 1999 and asked him if he liked not being famous anymore so he could go to the mall. He said "yes"
  9. Was peeing next to Macauley Caulkin a week after i played his body double in a tv show and told him "i just played a blurry version of your upper body"
  10. Offered Chris Elliot a partially eaten bag of gummy worms i was sitting on during a screening of his tv show "Get a Life". He said "these feel warm were you sitting on them?"
  11. I was a caterer at a US Olympic team party and was stopped by Bob Costas while i was holding a tray of fairly generic red and white wines. He asked for a Chateau wine I had never heard of and i said "Bob, i have this Pinot Noir" to which he responded "That's exactly what i wanted!"
  12. Was selling internet passes at an airport when Whitney Houston was hobbling by flanked by her family who appeared to be helping her walk. I said "Did you know you can get internet on the plane?" She looked up with a contorted face full of a mixture of shock, confusion, and horror and said "What!!?" I was too frightened to say another word
  13. Met Jackie Mason at a starbucks. Told him his daughter was a real ballbuster. He said "are you a comedian?" "Jackie" i said. "Everybody's a comedian"