HOW TO STRENGTHEN YOUR CORE

  1. 1.
    Tell your core "It's not you it's me". It will appreciate you in the long run for being honest
  2. 2.
    Convince your core to read and agree with Donald Trump's proposal to get Mexico to pay for a wall between us. Your core will have to agree that's a real mental workout and will thank you for it
  3. 3.
    Force it to watch Season 2 of True Detective causing your core to go into a crushing death spiral. When Season 3 premieres your core will have gone through hell and will look great because of it
  4. 4.
    Purposely withold everything your core loves with the promise to give it all back when it shapes up. Your core will try so hard to win your approval it will be looking fabulous in no time
  5. 5.
    Trap your core in a closet and tell it that you're playing 5 minutes in Heaven but then don't come back for an hour
  6. 6.
    Explain to your core who thinks it doesn't like country music about real bluegrass and then take it on a roadtrip to Ashville North Carolina
  7. 7.
    Discuss with your core the mental gymnastics it takes to be passionately against abortion while simultaneously denying women access to contraceptives
  8. 8.
    Leave your core in the car with the window cracked while you go grocery shopping and promise to be out in 15 minutes. You come back in an hour with a story about how you ran into an old friend and just lost track of time. This bitter dissapointment will place inside your core self-reliance which will ultimately make it stronger in the long run
  9. 9.
    Pay attention while your core excitedly discusses its new baseball card collecting hobby and how much they will be worth in a few years. When it finds they're pretty much worthless it will thank you for not downing the effort. A grateful core will always have your back
  10. 10.
    The ab roller