MY CURRENT LIST OF PARTIALLY WRITTEN BOOKS

Will there be more unfinished books in the future? Only time will tell
  1. Things to do after Lunch
    This is my only unfinished novel. I was heavily influenced by the style of writing of Douglas Adams at the time which basically meant i used an excessive amount of analogies and comparisons in every sentence in addition to long run-on sentences like this one. I fucking love this book with all my heart still when i read it and hope i can finish it someday. It is a story of love between a vacuum cleaner salesman and a girl he runs into in the park.
  2. Why I Hate You and Other Stories
    I was writing a lot of @McSweeneysLists type stories at this time (early to mid 2000's) and i had the idea of collecting several of them and making a book. It would have been a great idea.
  3. What It's All About
    The Hokey Pokey, the best meal you ever had. What is life about? This book was set to figure it out. Too bad i never finished it
  4. Outwords
    I wasn't able to successfully finish a novel or a series of short stories so i invented a kind of writing exercise where you start with a word, or a sentence, or an idea and you just write without stopping, continuously as if it was one complete thought. I think i got up to about 80 or 90 entries in this thing and at first i thought they were kind of forced but looking back i can see the gems that were there all along.
  5. The Complete Idiots Guide to Idiots
    I think the title tells you everything you need to know about this one. I have a rough 25 pages and it is the only project i keep coming back to. I heard if i get the 25 pages edited and crisp and awesome i can send them to an agent and get published and then get famous and fall in love with someone who is totally wrong for me who will break my heart again causing me to shatter my left arm in a motorcycle accident
  6. I also had this idea for writing a memoir and having it be a series of short stories about my life. I can't remember what i intended the title to be
    I didnt get as far with this one as i did some of the others but i did write about 6 or 7 stories including an 8 page one that i personally handed to @sloane_crosley at a reading in New York several years ago. I never heard back from her about it but she did accept me as a friend on facebook. Later i polished that one story to a diamond and it is now 10 pages of pure undiluted NYC anguish and thrills. Should i send it to the Atlantic? Its a fuckin dynamite story
  7. If for some reason you want to look at one of these heartbreaking works of staggering genius they can be found at my old old website not updated much in 10 years http://bit.ly/1RcG2LK