THINGS MY MOM IS AFRAID OF

  1. Gays
  2. Hillary Clinton
  3. Exercise equipment
  4. GMO's
  5. Sugar
  6. White bread
  7. My dad running over her plants with his tractor
  8. Dead animals on the porch because of the cat
    she screamed loudly last night when the cat walked in with a bloody rabbit in its mouth
  9. Evolution
  10. One World Government
  11. Sending and downloading email attachments
  12. Unplugging anything on her computer
  13. Going senile and forgetting things
  14. Social security collapsing
  15. Inter-racial marriage
  16. Stepping onto that top rung of the ladder that clearly reads "warning this is not a step"
  17. Too many people screaming things at her at once
  18. Horror movies - she still talks about the blob
  19. Heavy Metal - she makes a face when talking about her boyfriend in college who liked Led Zeppelin