When I Was a Serial Killer
- •Ive always been called a serial killer. Its because my default mode is oh so serious
- •Sometimes that makes people uncomfortable and they want to assume the worst about you like the fact that you could be hiding bodies in your closet
- •Or keeping people trapped underneath your stairs
- •In a public speaking class in college after i had explained that i was a comedian one of the girls raised her hand and said "but you're so serious" and the teacher answered for me and said "sometimes comedians are the most serious and sad people"
- •I took a date from an acting class to a comedy show and we sat in the front row. I didn't laugh once (they weren't funny) and the comic on stage asked if i was a serial killer or something. I did not get a second date.
- •I always hold my anger in and try not to show it but sometimes i imagine what i might do to that barking dog or the roommate whose screaming at me
- •So eventually i auditioned in virginia for the role of a serial killer and the guy who set the scene for me was obviously uncomfortable explaining it meanwhile i was thinking "okay he shoots people for sport and chains them up in his basement. I get it"
- •I went back to NYC and was working a promotion driving Fiats and trying to get people to come to a Botticelli concert in Central Park that we were giving away tickets to.
- •Then i got the call that I had gotten the role. I quit the job immediately for that $250 a day
- •They actually flew me down to Virginia for the job and for the first and only time someone was waiting at an airport with my name on a sign. It was kind of charming.
- •It was supposed to be set in Alaska but we shot in the backyard of someone's house in Chesapeake Virginia. Go figure right?
- •Everyone asked me where I came from and when I told them NY they assumed I was a big shot.
- •It was a reenactment which meant most lines were improved and would be spoken over by a narrator. A lot of the work was kind of tedious at times but i was very grateful for that two days of work and two more days later
- •Here is my demo of me as a serial killer where as you can see I got my first lines on tv which I improvised and they are "how do you like the decor?" https://youtu.be/mG7QvuQNqEg
- •A lot of people for several years told me they saw it and they weren't even scared of me. If only they knew about my dark passenger
- •Here's a longer cut of the episode with all my parts if you're really interested https://youtu.be/LU_1AOKdhyE