Reasons I'll be voting to stay in the European Union

Because the prime minister saw the United Kingdom Independence Party as a threat about four years ago, he committed to a referendum on membership of the EU, a political and economic union of 28 countries. Ukip has since withered, largely due to the incompetence and repugnance of its leadership, but the referendum remains.
  1. I am European
    Europe is where I'm from. My dad had his DNA tested and our Y chromosome is Pictish, so my male ancestors have lived in Scotland for at least 2,000 years. The small stretch of water between England and France does not mean Britain is not Europe, any more than it would mean the Isle of Wight is not Britain. England is ruled by people who think continental Europe is peopled by tribes of varying degrees of inferiority, and that European solidarity is an affront to English dignity.
  2. I like immigrants and immigration
    England has been travelling remorselessly to the right since the crash of 2008. Those intending to vote Leave this month appear to be motivated by a wish to be around fewer foreigners and are ignoring economic arguments that our society can't function without them. We're an ageing population and we need immigrants to replace the babies we're not having. Our health service, for instance, is dependent on foreign workers. I don't want American-style healthcare. I can't afford it.
  3. Britain ruled much of the world for centuries and it's a bit rich to close our doors now
    We've spent a long time bragging about our wealth, apparently unaware the world knows it was stolen during the empire. We prefer to think of our material comfort as a function of our innate, benevolent genius, rather than skill in plundering and exploitation. It's breath-takingly hypocritical to sit on a mountain of stolen wealth and advertise it to the world, while accusing foreigners of coming here motivated by greed.
  4. Visa-free travel
    I don't travel very often but I've been to Paris and Barcelona in the last couple of years and I really wouldn't have enjoyed having to visit consulates and begging for permission to enter to France or Spain. I also don't feel mean enough to require the same bureaucratic hoop-jumping of our neighbours who want to visit or live in Britain. We should be flattered that people want to come here, not resentful or suspicious.
  5. I don't want to make Europe resent us
    The EU is currently trying to deal with the tens of thousands of refugees leaving Syria, Afghanistan and other places you wouldn't want to live. It really doesn't wish to divert its attention to persuade Britain not to abandon the continent altogether. It will enter negotiations to replace the trade deals we'll have just relinquished in very bad spirits and won't be disposed to help us. Some will want to punish us and I wouldn't blame them. They will seek to deter other states from leaving.