Things that went through my head when I found out, today, that my wife is pregnant

  1. So all that sex wasn't for nothing after all
  2. We can't keep a cactus alive but sure, let's try a human being
  3. Some time next year there will be a tiny person who, through inexperience and lack of perspective, will worship me like a god. How long can I maintain that illusion?
  4. All the things that can go wrong between conception and birth. Could my wife cope with a miscarriage? Could I?
  5. What if it's a girl? What could I possibly teach a girl about how to be a woman? I barely know how to be a man.
  6. Creating life is a power we take for granted
  7. I hope the baby gets my perfect eyesight, verbal facility and strong immune system, not my baldness, flat foot or messed up teeth