An Ode to Newlyweds

Congratulations, newlywed! Here are some things that every new married couple experiences.
  1. Pure bliss!
    You are so happy, you'll pose for as many DVD covers as you possibly can.
  2. Infatuation with your significant other!
    You want to tell the world and all the cameramen out there how much you love them.
  3. Consummating the marriage!
    You've saved yourself until marriage, and now it's time to record a sensual music video with your husband reflecting that you now love the D.
  4. Wondering where the time has gone!
    Is your life flashing before your eyes? Are you "old and boring" now?
  5. Standing strong in your beliefs!
    Let the dinner table know up front that you do not eat buffalo, and despite the fact that the dish is chicken, your significant other will support you.
  6. Learning from one another!
    Seriously, what's the point of spending the rest of your life with someone if they can never teach you anything? Don't be afraid to ask questions about things your partner knows!
  7. Arguments over money!
    Every couple has them. But don't worry, you couldn't have avoided spending that much money; how would you even have known how much the items were?
  8. Loving each other's personality traits!
    It's okay to admit you love those little quirks about your partner, including their stinky ass.
  9. Reflection!
    It's always important to reflect on your marriage and relationship with your significant other. Make sure to use words like "really, really good" to show how your marriage is unique and different!
  10. Most importantly — having fun!
    Here is a photo of a newlywed couple literally enjoying themselves so much just relaxing and watching television. Look how they both wear the biggest smiles on their faces!
  11. So here's to you, newlyweds!
    You have an amazing journey ahead!