NOTES FOR MY ROOMMATE'S GIRLFRIEND
- •Stop leaving the seat down after you pee.
- •It's nice that you bought your own shampoo, but please stop using Herbal Essences Ultimate Curls Peach-Flavored shampoo. It smells up the whole bathroom. Plus it's mine.
- •Sorry for walking in on you in the shower last week. I should have stopped once I reached the shower.
- •I know you think I hate you because of that letter I left on the fridge. But let me remind you that I signed it anonymously.
- •Contrary to what you believe, I DO have a girlfriend. And unlike you, she doesn't talk back to me and I can deflate her anytime I want.
- •I understand that many companies let their employees work from home. But this is not your home; it’s your boyfriend's home. Also, sorry to hear that you were fired from your job.
- •I really don't mind when you walk around the apartment in your underwear. If anything, I mind when you don't.
- •It was a mistake texting you that list of things I hate about you. I sincerely meant to send it to someone else.
- •If you think that hiding your box of tampons in my box of Cheerios is funny, then you're gonna crack up next time you need a tampon.