actual things I have said to one or more of my three cats.
  1. You are behaving really poorly right now, buddy.
  2. Do you have any idea how much this furniture cost?
  3. Your food costs more than mine and when you waste it it hurts my feelings.
  4. If you walk on my keyboard while I'm working I'm going to get fired.
  5. You have so many scratchers and you scratch the chair instead? Shame on you.
  6. You never sit on my lap anymore.
  7. I wish you'd stop pulling my clothes off the hangers and laying on them. It's more laundry for me to wash.
  8. Why did you try to run out the door? Don't you want to live with us?