FIRST GOOGLE IMAGE RESULTS RANKED: GOP SECRET SERVICE NICKNAMES EDITION

Safe search OFF cause I live my life on the edge
  1. Rand Paul: "Justice Never Sleeps"
    Because after sitting through this entire debate, I really wish I lived in Ooo
  2. Jeb Bush: "EverReady"
    Because who knew Jeb❗️Bush was a Tech N9ne fan.
  3. Mike Huckabee: "Duck Hunter"
    Because OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS GAME YES ITS FREE ONLINE SWEET. Thanks for being a duck murderer, Huckabee. 🐥 💥🔫
  4. Macro Rubio: "Gator"
    Because this gator is so happy to be on his way to school.
  5. Carly Fiorina: "Secretariat"
    Because horses are dope 🐎
  6. Ben Carson: "One Nation"
    Because "ohhhhhhh right that's why he chose such a lame hypothetical Secret Service nickname"
  7. John Kasich: "Unit Two"
    Because cool gators don't look at explosions.
  8. Ted Cruz: "Cohiba"
    Because cigars are gross but I really want to go to Cuba with @buddy after I graduate
  9. Scott Walker: "Harley"
    Because meh
  10. Donald Trump: "Humble"
    Because this quote looks like something that would be printed on a wooden decoration you would buy at Target to use as a bookend.
  11. Chris Christie: "True Heart"
    Because oh my God, I'm so sorry, dear fellow listers, for subjecting you to this graphic image. I honestly thought a care bear would come up for this one.