FIVE PHOTOS ON MY PHONE "CHOSEN AT RANDOM"

Let's be real, no one is choosing these pictures at random. I just tell it like it is.
  1. This aggressively-religious shirt seen at a Frozen Yogurt store in West Hartford, CT
  2. The best birthday gift I've ever received
  3. Me as a turtle
  4. This adorable tiny goat that I saw at a campground in France
  5. Me posing with a giant crab that I caught in Rhode Island