And only sometimes ironically
  1. β€’
    Use text abbreviations in real speech
    If I can get to a point faster, and confuse the elderly that may be eavesdropping, why wouldn't I?
  2. β€’
    Use emojis way too much
    πŸ˜πŸ†πŸ•πŸ”πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‚πŸ„
  3. β€’
    Text, Instagram, check Facebook, watch a YouTube video, use LinkedIn, Google shit, *or use List App* while walking down the street
    Ok, maybe not LinkedIn...
  4. β€’
    Complain about "how poor I am" while ordering a iced venti caramel macchiato at Starbucks
    WITH AN ESPRESSO SHOT
  5. β€’
    Take selfies at inappropriate places
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    Like this one, at the Catacombes in Paris. Just let it sink in how slightly messed up it is to take a selfie in front of the remains of thousands of people literally just dumped on top of each other...
  6. β€’
    Acting as the world's self-appointed grammar nazi
    Accepting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. I've had several interventions...
  7. β€’
    Use too many #hashtags
    #yasss #kween
  8. β€’
    Only being into bands that you've "probably never heard of"
    I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I can rock out to some Queen Bey, it's not always Neutral Milk Hotel or some obscure Finnish DJ
  9. β€’
    Talk about "articles" I read "somewhere online" when we all know it's from Buzzfeed
    43 reasons why I don't have the attention span for real news articles
  10. β€’
    Post every mundane aspect of my life on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter (and now List App!!)
    89740a14 50f2 43e5 aa4d e8a90a469497
    Caption on this picture: "#shoutout to my #bae for helping me get through this Monday πŸ˜˜β˜•οΈ" ... I must be stopped
  11. β€’
    I won't order take out unless there is an Internet ordering optionπŸ•πŸ’»
    Suggested by @ErinFlaherty
  12. β€’
    Strategically post a new profile picture at peak times on Facebook to get maximum likes
    7-11pm
    Suggested by @sky
  13. β€’
    Pretend I don't have any idea what something is if it happened before I was born
    "'World War II' you say? Is that an 80s band or something? I have no idea what you're talking about. You know I was born in 1998, right?"
    Suggested by @evanp