15 Reasons Why I'm Still Madly in Love With My Partner of 15 Years.
Today, 15 years ago on April 19th I kissed the man that would become my partner for life. This is a schmoopy list. I apologize in advance.
- 1.He's insanely adorable.See my list of adorable photos of him for examples. But here's one more from the Nelson-Atkin Art Museum in Kansas City just in case you don't want to go hunting through my old list.
- 2.We have our own secret language.After being together for 15 years you develop shortcuts quotes for situations. It's like a secret language that only the two of us are fluent in. I can turn to him in the appropriate time or situation and say the non-sequitur "Mary Cheney is. A lesbian." And only he will understand and laugh.
- 3.He instinctually wraps his arms around me when I come to bed hours after he's asleep.He's a morning person. I am a night owl. We have very different schedules. But my favorite time ever is when I crawl into bed and he instinctually rolls over and wraps his arms around me. I melt every time this happens. Which is pretty much every night.
- 4.We have ridiculous arguments.Our ongoing one for the past 5 years is who started using the phrase "Oopsy Poopsie!" He claims he would never use that phrase because he doesn't do scatalogical jokes. I disagree because he's always rhyming and portmanteau-ing words and phrases and he definitely used it first. This argument will never be won by either of us.
- 5.He has a childlike wonder about him that I find exceedingly endearing.Even at the age of 43, he still acts like a child in the cutest way possible. Obvious example, this pillowcase that he found online which is the duplicate if what he had as a child. He needed to get it. It's now a permanent fixture on our bed.
- 6.He takes care of me.I turn in my manuscript in 3 weeks. I am a physical and mental wreck and basically every other day I turn to him and tell him in a trembling voice "That's it. I'm returning my advance." He talks me off the ledge. He gets me food. He does the dishes (<-that last one is HUGE.) He's there for me when I need him.
- 7.He has excellent spatial reasoningRecently I had a delivery of VERY large boxes from a company that I wasn't expecting. Our apartment is tiny. He immediately rearranged stuff so we could store them in a corner until I got around to dealing with them. If it was up to me, I would just have left them in the middle of the living room and walked around them every day. I mean look at that stack of boxes! That some made Tetris skillz. (Also that space there at the bottom was intentional for me to put my messenger bag!)
- 8.I never get bored with him.Never. I spent 7 consecutive weeks road tripping across the US. At the end, when we got home, we looked at each other and both said "I could go another week..."
- 9.At the same time, we spend a lot of time apart.Not counting work, he also goes on all day cycling rides on the weekend. I travel occasionally for work. He goes to sleep at 10pm. I go to sleep at 2am. He wakes up at 5am. I wake up at 9am. We have completely different sleep cycles (which somehow magically come together when we vacation) and that allows us to do our own thing.
- 10.We casually walk hand-in-hand whenever/wherever we can.No other boyfriend or guy that I have dated really wanted to hold hands with me in public. It seems like a small gesture but the fact that he instinctively grabs my hand the minute we leave out apartment (and anywhere we are) means the world to me.
- 11.He leaves me random notes for me to find when I wake up in the morning.I literally have hundreds of these because I can't throw any of them away. Some of them are nearly illegible because they are so beat up or old (FYI post-it notes are not archival). But I don't care. I can't bring myself to throw any of them away.
- 12.We have our own rituals.Every relationship developed their own rituals. From yearly rituals of getting a Christmas tree (we have to get a Douglas Fir tree which is harder to find in SF) to daily rituals of tucking in before bed and kissing each other before we leave the apartment and when we arrive at home, our rituals give me rhythm and stability, something I need because I freelance and have a really inconsistent life.
- 13.Once a year on my birthday he bakes for me. This is amazing.He never bakes because I always have to for work and baking isn't his thing. But once a year he bites the bullet, finds a simple recipe and makes me something. No matter what he makes it's amazing and I love it. Seriously. It's the best birthday present ever.
- 14.Sex is still the best.Seriously. 15 years and it's still the best I've had. And trust me. I've gotten around...
- 15.He makes me a better person. Without him I would be a curmudgeon hermit with no friends and no life.Days go by when I don't leave the apartment. He makes me go out to lunch or dinner with him. He makes sure I am fed when all I've had to eat is cake or pie that I'm recipe testing. I never would have found out I liked camping or hiking. Or traveling to National Parks. He pushes me out of my comfort zone and believes in me, more than I often believe in myself. And because of him I'm a better person. Damn I love him so much.