Because I am a practicing homosexual.
  1. Going to the Gym
    I do belong to one. And I do visit it. Once a year. To pay the membership dues.
  2. Carbs
    I eat them. My waistline can prove it. But in my defense my job is to develop recipes for desserts. So it's all in the name of research.
  3. Drinking
    To paraphrase Margaret Cho "No, I'm not sunburned! I'm drunk!" Leave me alone!" I'm Asian and turn bright red when I drink. Then I fall asleep. So not fun.
  4. Your Best Friend
    I am not your best friend. Mostly because I am a hermit that rarely leaves the apartment. If you and I were to go out and get drinks, maybe we WOULD totally become BFFs. But since I don't drink (see above) that probably isn't going to happen anytime soon.
  5. Finger Snapping
    I can not snap my fingers. Never have been. It is my greatest gay shame.