Every Upgrade Is Really a Downgrade
My friend Rita had a theory that once you upgrade to a better product, you can't go backwards. Which means you end up spending more money to attain satisfaction. Here are some examples. Add your own!
- •ChocolateOnce you've started eating the really good stuff it's hard to swallow the cheap waxy grocery store stuff.
- •CoffeeIt's a one way trip. From instant to Folgers to Starbucks, to micro-roasted pour over its hard to go back to the grocery store stuff. Unless your grocery store sells local small batch roasted beans that is.
- •Stereo equipmentLittle speakers and cheap headphones are fine until you start experiencing quality equipment. Then, all of sudden, you hear those subtle bass notes and little twinkly bits that you never heard before. The cheap stuff now sounds like your listening through two tin cans strung together.
- •WineSay goodbye to Two Buck Chuck once you start drinking decent everyday wine. Suddenly weeknight quaffable bottle goes from $7 to $15 to $25 or more. FYI this is never ending.
- •Smart phoneWhat, you're going to go back to pressing the number 2 button three times to get the letter "F" when you text? I don't think so.
- •BoozeCheap rotgut vodka? No thank you. Top shelf tequila. Hello! Say goodbye to bottom shelf grocery store booze.
- •MattressSure you slept on a futon in college. Then you bought your bed at IKEA for your first post-college apartment. But once you start upgrading to nice mattresses your back will never forgive you if you downgrade back to the IKEA Sultan Hurva.
- •High speed internetYeah, because dial-up is ever going to happen again. But even with high speed there's high speed and there's HIGH speed. Slow internet is terrible....
- •BreadCrusty sourdough from that artisan bakery across town or Wonder Bread? No question.
- •BedsheetsItchy scratchy off brand poly-cotton sheets? Or 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton? Damn you and your soft cloud-like caress on my bare skin.
- •Toilet PaperOnce you go to double-ply with a fabric-like softness you can't go back to stealing extra rolls from Chocolatè on C Street like you did in college. (You know you did it too.)Suggested by @donnie