Join My Post-apocalypse Dystopia Team!

If the current state of Young Adult novels/movies is any indication, the post-apocalypse dystopia is just around the corner! Clearly the folks here on @list must ban together and form an allegiance to survive. My question is what can YOU bring to the team? Suggest your skill set below and let's all thrive in the new harsh environment.
  1. Bake bread, cure bacon, preserve jam & fruit, make stock for soup.
    I'm also Asian which is a total bonus. Everyone knows that the post-apocalyptic world is an multi-ethnic world. Sure the leader is always a white girl with no social skills but vast amounts of pluck and courage, but her band of merry outsiders is ALWAYS multi-colored. I'm happy to be the token Asian as long as I survive and I don't get killed off in the second or third act of the story.
  2. Camping, archery (because that's apparently very important), gallows humor
    Suggested by   @dcerruti
  3. Train and ride horses, teach others to ride, animal husbandry, also entertainment (can juggle, sing, tell stories).
    This doubles as "what I will do if my friends and I really start a commune like we are threatening to do."
    Suggested by   @macnchz
  4. I can grow stuff, and I already have a large collection of vegetable and herb seeds, a crank radio and flashlight, and a chemical spill kit ALREADY packed in a rubber tote. Throw in a few rounds of antibiotics, a loincloth, and a bow and arrow, and I'll be queen of everything. 💪🏼🔥
    Suggested by   @alligeeshow
  5. Mediation.
    I am 💯 at staying neutral in disputes, listening openly and thoughtfully to each side's argument, restating it in a non-emotionally-charged way, and helping parties reach consensus. This is why I would be a crappy litigator, I'm too neutral to be a great advocate.
    Suggested by   @jenward
  6. Organizing
    Thanks to the brilliant suggestion of things by @eatthelove I remembered that I am excellent at organizing things!! If you need things alphabetized, sorted, folded, etc, I am your girl.
    Suggested by   @evak
  7. I could build a natural water filtration system, chop wood, & sew/knit clothing. I also know a lot of natural remedies & would be a great cooking/preserving assistant.
    Also my stepdad is a beekeeper & I've picked a up a lot of random knowledge about that. I can also be super aggressive under pressure, so I'd be great at helping guard our settlement.
    Suggested by   @nelle
  8. I buy bug spray and sunscreen in bulk and force it on my friends and family.
    If you aren't killed by zombies or a mutant supervirus or falling redwood trees, you will not die of skin cancer or malaria on my watch. Assuming, of course, that the sun has not either burnt out or sizzled through the ozone layer. I also can make anything into a pie.
    Suggested by   @jennifergster
  9. Driving
    I'm a great driver, and if The Walking Dead and Zombieland taught me anything when it comes to vehicles, it's that great driving and maneuvering can be the difference between life and death. By "good" I mean I'm fast but disciplined, I'm always thinking 3 moves ahead, and I'm aware of what's around me in all directions instead of being only aware of the road ahead. And I handle DC/NoVa traffic on a daily basis.
    Suggested by   @LizDawson
  10. I can do basic first aid, unclog toilets, decent cook, I'm small and quick AND ruthless.
    Also I have some helpful books on mushrooms, zombies and gardening.
    Suggested by   @shanaz
  11. I'm excellent at sewing, knitting and crocheting so I've got blankets, clothes, and accessories down. Also I'm a nurse so first aid.
    Suggested by   @ashlee
  12. I can build a database and dig a latrine and speak Spanish and make pierogi and BOOST MORALE WITH LOVE ❤️❤️❤️
    Suggested by   @ChrisK
  13. Speed reading, remembering random facts, talking strangers into doing things for me.
    Alternatively: bait. Because if a lot of running is required I would be 100% okay with being left to die, and maybe taking some of the enemy down with me. (I can be the token Asian who dies early, @eatthelove!)
    Suggested by   @betch
  14. I can sew, cook from scratch, make basic household repairs and take care of babies & children.
    Plus I've read all the Little House books so I can twist straw into firewood, churn butter, make a pig's bladder into a football, and so on.
    Suggested by   @jhope71
  15. I can tell jokes to lighten the mood
    Suggested by   @dudleyjoshua
  16. I can make friction fires like a boss and am not too shabby when it comes to wild edibles and other backwoods skills!
    Suggested by   @emmla
  17. I can expertly over-analyze any decision we need to make in our quest for survival.
    I have a knack for conjuring all possible outcomes, no matter how ridiculous. We'll never be surprised by the result of our choices because I certainly would have thought of it!
    Suggested by   @AEM
  18. Write propaganda speeches to rally the masses and further the rebel cause
    Every good rebellion needs a solid, strong message. I'm your woman.
    Suggested by   @aswinn
  19. I've got mad leadership skills
    I'm willing to do something courageous in the beginning of our story. During the next crisis, everyone will instinctively look to me. Hey, I never asked for this! But I humbly accept. (Needless to say: it's very progressive of you all to look to a woman. This new world has a bright future.)
    Suggested by   @landsmansarah
  20. I give hands down the best hugs.
    Sure this doesn't seem as important as knowing how to improvise a fly that will catch a large bass but then again, when the apocalypse comes, I think you're going to want a hug.
    Suggested by   @sillimanjaro
  21. I can predict the future.
    If a famine is coming, I'll letcha know a whole year in advance. I will also let you know who will die first so plans can be made accordingly (not all deaths are preventable). Also my service is free, which leads me to explain my other good qualities: 1) I'm selfless. Ex: If there is a shortage of food, I'll go without eating so that others can eat. 2) I can make an unusually realistic jaguar roar to scare off/intimidate creatures of the night.
    Suggested by   @julesypeeps
  22. I can be like Carol in The Walking Dead, but a younger version. Being less than five feet, 16 years old, and seemingly completely innocent, I can trick outsiders into underestimating me and can manipulate/convince people to do what I want. Sounds conniving, but I think Carol's fake identity is genius and I'd be down to try it myself.
    Suggested by   @ellasabo