10pm on a Saturday night is not the best time to be walking home in a slightly fragile state. So many drunk people. So much sloppiness. So little self-control.
  1. What happened to you?!?
    Because @AJ really wants to stop and tell every stranger his life story.
  2. Oohhh isn't it time you left your man?
    Because domestic abuse is always funny right?
  3. I can't believe you let him do that to you!
    Because again, domestic abuse is a source of hilarity.
  4. What did he do to you?
    Said in a laughing drunk way. So many domestic abuse jokes. And each person thought they were insanely clever!
  5. Stop doing that to him!
    This was said to me. Numerous times. In multiple ways. When I didn't respond back, the drunk queens would get indignant. "I'm serious girl!" then they would laugh hysterically. Because no one else must have thought of this funny and unique joke about domestic abuse. No one else. In the last 2 minutes....
  6. Did you slip while wearing your big girl heels and walking up these Sam Francisco hills?
    Said the lady tourist with her teenage kids in tow. I could hear her kids rolling their eyes at her attempt to bond with the local gays. She apparently watches too much RuPaul's Drag Race. But props for not going the domestic abuse route.
  7. Oh my God! Look at you! That is so hot!!!
    His friend grabbed him and dragged him away apologize in profusely at us. But 2 minutes later he caught up with us again and proclaimed to @AJ "you are so hot with that arm sling. You should be on a runway with that!" The more sober friend found him and again apologized profusely and told him to stop bothering us. I'm more concerned that the guy seems to have a broken bone fetish or something...