What Would Happen if I Were a Character in a Tv Show
I'm a gay Asian male that rarely sees anyone like himself on TV. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if they cast me on a show. Here are my thoughts on how it would go down.
- •Gilmore GirlsClearly Stars Hollow needs a token gay couple to complete it quaintness. @AJ and I would be in the background a lot. We'd probably run a small bed and breakfast which might or might not compete with the Dragonfly Inn (this is running subplot but in the end Lorelai and I decide we have different demographic). Or we'd run an antique shop and Mrs. Kim would always give us the evil eye everytime she saw us. Not because we're gay. But because we were the competition.
- •Buffy the Vampire Slayer (season 1-3)I'm an old friend of Willow's who she met at computer camp over the summertime. I come to visit and (of course) I'm also secretly possessed by a demon (as one often is in Sunnydale). Willow figures out a way to cast the demon out but I don't survive the resulting fight afterwards. It's very tragic for the one episode but I'm never mentioned again in the show.
- •ElementaryI'm Joan Watson's cousin who is in some sort of trouble with my bookie. I come to Joan for help but she's dismissive; I've always been a troublemaker. I soon end up in the hospital with my knees crushed in. Joan & Sherlock discovers who the culprit is and "take care" of the situation. The sad denouement has Joan visiting while I'm in physical therapy, telling me everything is taken care. I give her the cold shoulder as I struggle to walk and the camera pans back. I'm never referred to again.
- •Modern FamilyYou would think @AJ and I are just random friends with Mitch and Cam but in an unexpected twist, we're the gaybors of Phil & Claire who originally have the obscene statue on their lawn! Phil & Claire tear it down in a drunken state one night with their obnoxious other neighbors. We decide to sue them and go to a lawyer that we feel would be sympathetic to our cause...Mitch! Hilarity ensues of course.
- •AliasIn a novel episode told from the viewpoint of Sydney Bristow's arch nemesis Anna Espinosa, I appear as the evil counterpart of Marshall Flinkman, the tech geek that supplies Anna with all her gadgets. I actually end up going on the mission with Anna, somehow fighting against Marshall in one pivotal scene. Sadly Anna sacrifices me to compete her mission and I die knowing I was evil and betrayed by my own.
- •FriendsAs much as I like Friends, I'd probably be relegated to being Gunther's sidekick co-worker at the coffee shop so this wouldn't be all that interesting. I'd get one sassy line to Rachel about Gunther's crush on her and that's about it. However Ross' lesbian ex-wife knows me so she'd make it a point to always say hi and hold a brief conversation with me in the background when she comes in. This creates some subtle texture for the show.
- •Sex and the CityThey already have a token gay on the show so clearly I would have to date Stanford for an episode. Samantha would make a casual offhanded comment about Stanford being a "rice queen" and then he'll have an existential crisis about it and break up with me. In the end he'll realize it was all stupid and try to get back together with me but I'd have moved on to someone way hotter.
- •The FlashI appear twice in this show, first in the background of Captain David Singh's wedding (the gay police captain) as a guest with my partner @AJ. Because, you know, all gay people know each other in the fictional world. Eagle eyed comic geeks notice how the camera lingers on us a little longer than usual and speculate on who we are. Then when the whole multiverse plot come into play, it's revealed AJ is actually Alan Scott, the Green Lantern from a parallel universe! I'm his boyfriend.
- •Buffy the Vampire Slayer (season 4-7)I'm introduced as a mysterious acquaintance of Xander's with a deep dark secret. An entire B plot arc is dedicated to this over a series of episodes. Then...the final reveal is that I'm gay! Not evil! That's my secret! Of course once my secret is revealed I die saving the Scooby gang against some demon or vampire attack. The twitterverse will get really upset (come on Joss, you gotta kill another LGBT character?) but it's just better for the show that I die. My storyline is done.
- •Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.A small bit role as a personal assistant that is implicated in a large conspiracy against the new reformed S.H.I.E.L.D., my character's introduction does very little to move the plot along and is ultimately a red herring. BUT it turns out I'm actually a HUGE Easter egg, as I'm the personal assistant to a Dr. Stephen Strange! That's right, I'm his manservant Wong, reimagined and updated for the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
- •The BlacklistI am No. 26: "The Fashion Victim" a specialist in incredible disguises, that kills his targets and always leaves them wearing the latest high end Milan fashions, often ones that have only just debuted on the runway days before. No can figure out my identity until Red points Lizzy in the right direction...to look at stylists not fashion designers. After all, the stylists are the unsung heroes overlooked in the fashion world.
- •CastleI'm a body, discovered by a jogger, that dies in mysterious circumstances. Upon investigating they find I'm a popular cookbook author on a book signing tour. Richard Castle will relate to the grind of the book tour. They soon discover I'm quite the player, hooking up constantly. The lead suspect is @AJ who they think is jealous but he tells them we're a modern open gay couple. They are incredulous. It's all a mislead. It was my literary agent who was upset that I decided to switch agents!
- •BonesI'm the jogger that discovers the mysterious body.