I ended a relationship last weekend and I've second-guessed it all week long. Here are the stupidest things I've thought since then.
  1. The Warriors are losing because of me.
    My favorite basketball team, the Golden State Warriors, played very poorly in the two games of the NBA Finals following my break up. I felt like it was payback for hurting her.
  2. I got doored while riding my bike because karma is real.
    I did something that hurt someone else, so the universe hurt me back. Also, it started raining on me right afterward.
  3. I'm the biggest asshole in the world.
    There have to jerks worse than me out there. But it doesn't feel like it at the moment.
  4. I should "Like" her photos.
  5. I shouldn't "Like" her photos.
  6. I should text her.
  7. I should show up at her apartment with a huge romantic gesture and apologize forever.
    My natural reaction to guilt is to try and resolve it immediately in the most dramatic way possible.
  8. I was very wrong.
    I just don't know, man...
  9. I miss her.
    This isn't really stupid. But it feels stupid because I'm the one who ended it.
  10. I'm not allowed to be upset.
    I've only publicly mentioned this event on List App because it's the smallest public audience I have. Otherwise, I'd feel like I'm whining. And I'm not allowed to whine about something I've done to myself. Right?
  11. I should start dating someone else immediately.
    Genuinely bad idea.