FACEBOOK COMMENTS I DREAM OF MAKING

Inspired by @ameliaville
  1. β€’
    Maybe try not sharing that super personal letter you wrote to a grieving widow.
  2. β€’
    Weren't you just blaming Obama for high gas prices? How about a thanks for that under $2.00/gallon picture you just posted.
  3. β€’
    Remember when you used a normal amount of snow to argue global warming wasn't real? Any comment on this warmer than average winter? No?
  4. β€’
    You're so clever, ending that super-whiny post asking for input about your job with "no advice, lectures, Bible verses, or rude comments needed." That will totally work.
  5. β€’
    You're an idiot.
  6. β€’
    Maybe post a few neutral things between ranting about how you hate Obama Care and how grateful you are for the free medical care your child received. Your message gets lost in that juxtaposition.
  7. β€’
    You're right! It IS consistent that you belong to a union and love Scott Walker.
  8. β€’
    Thank you for clarifying that you're only interested in leveraging our relationship for pyramid scheme ascension. It will relieve my guilt when I inevitably unfriend you.
  9. β€’
    I think you might be functionally illiterate. But your emoji game is strong! πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ’―πŸŽ‰πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ’š