And calls to warn me about. Often.
  1. Flashing your brights will get you shot.
    Apparently a crack shot is driving around with his brights on waiting for you to flash yours. He then executes a perfect head shot from his moving car to your moving car. It's part of a gang initiation.
  2. Your Achilles' tendon is about to be cut.
    Because someone is hiding under your car in the Target parking lot with bolt cutters. I'm pretty sure this was in House of Wax.
  3. You can get pregnant from making out.
    She's a nurse.
  4. Paying for gas inside will kill you.
    While you're paying inside someone will crawl into your backseat waiting to strangle you after you pull away. Always pay at the pump. It's safe and convenient!
  5. Don't leave your infant with a babysitter.
    They will put the baby in the oven by mistake. She's less concerned about our toddler. But she still checks up on anyone who babysits.
  6. Not reclining the driver's seat will kill you.
    Because someone will sneak into your backseat and strangle you when you drive away. Reclining your driver's seat will block the back seat and compel you to check it before you drive off.
  7. That pony tail is asking for it.
    Wearing a pony tail is a sign to everyone that you ready to be abducted and killed. So wear that hair down.