ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF A PERFECT NIGHT'S SLEEP

  1. A perpetually cold pillow
  2. A Goldilock temperature room that adjusts to fluctuations in body temperature
  3. Inability to smell kitty box that you haven't emptied
  4. Zen-like soundscape of crashing waves or rain at just right volume
  5. A perfectly vented cocoon of blanket with an open escape hatch for one foot or possibly leg, as needed
  6. Benadryl and/or melatonin
  7. Yogi bedtime tea (aka Roofie tea) 30 mins prior
  8. Soft clothes