THOUGHTS I'M HAVING WHILE SITTING IN THE DARK AS MY SON REFUSES TO GO TO SLEEP

  1. Why are you doing this to me?
  2. Sleep is literally my favorite thing behind you and your dad, you should be thrilled to go to sleep
  3. Maybe your brain is thinking too many exciting things
  4. Maybe your brain is just saying "sandwich" over and over and you can't turn it off.
  5. When I was younger I would have math dreams and then get sick because my brain couldn't stop. Maybe he's a genius figuring out Fermats last theorem and you don't even know it.
  6. Is it too hot in here?
  7. Should I take off all my clothes?
  8. I wonder what Nelly is up to right now.
  9. Now he's running his feet along side his crib. This is going great.
  10. He should be so tired! It's day three of this bs and he didn't even nap today
  11. Do you think this is payback for him sleeping so well as an infant?
  12. Do you think I could hire Samuel L Jackson to come do a live reading of "Go the F to Sleep"?
  13. I am so tired
  14. 😴😴😴