REASONS WHY NYC IS OPPRESSIVE

  1. Crown Heights is now chic
  2. There are three trees. One is in Brooklyn
  3. Bed bugs are ruining my friend's life
  4. Wanna grab a bite to eat? Have fun waiting four hours BITCH
  5. You're always either sweating or freezing
  6. My friend has to put paper towels in his underwear in the summer
  7. Tedious grid
  8. Traffic is technically worse than LA when you're in a jam
  9. A luxe hotel room is 100 sq ft for $500/night
  10. My mom hates it
  11. I hate it
  12. Even Hollister has bed bugs
  13. Hollister!
  14. Central Park dry humping
  15. Angry Zabar's journeys
  16. Greenpoint racism
  17. Artisanal cheese shops
  18. Stop and Frisk
  19. The whole "I get so much exercise walking!" Thing. Start running!!
  20. Bicyclists are killed all the time
  21. I'm in an English pub and it's a bummer
  22. My friend made this list as I dictated most of it
  23. Zero spontaneity
    None!!!!!!!! Ryan!!!!