SNARKY THINGS I HAVE SAID ABOUT RECENT MOVIES

Ever since I made 'Shaun Of The Dead' and met someone that I had been snarky about in print - (Spoiler: they were lovely and I felt awful) - I resolved never to publicly badmouth other people's movies. Just don't do it. So here are some critical things I have said about recent movies without saying which movies.
  1. "I kind of enjoyed it while I was watching it, but then I snagged it on the door on the way out and it completely unravelled by the time I got home."
  2. "It wasn't as bad as I hoped it would be."
  3. "It threatened to go full 'Flash Gordon' camp but never quite did. Alas."
  4. "I feel like that BLANK should be in jail at the end of the movie."
  5. "I never need to see that actor naked ever again."
  6. "The moral of this movie is never sleep with your teenage neighbor when they are clearly 26 years old."
  7. "It would have worked better with either just BLANK or BLANK starring in it. Both not both of them."
  8. "BLANK is great, but ironically the rest of it is forgettable."
  9. "As soon as BLANK is dead, it's a ticking clock to get to the end."
  10. "Does BLANK even know he's even in a film? They seem like they are at the wrap party already."
  11. "I will always be rooting for any original movie in this day and age. So I wish it were better."
  12. "I had forgotten everything about it by the time I paid for my parking."
  13. "This is starting to feel less like a series of films and more like a Pyramid scam."