Why you're gonna want me in your commune
Post apocalyptic or just off the grid hippies, I'm a valuable asset!
- •I can grow the hell out of some plantsI know it might not seem like I'm the farming type (and I'm not. I love me some grocery store) what with my prone to 3rd degree sun burn skin but I grew up on a hippy farm and once grew a sunflower the size of a car tire. Humble brag!
- •I don't want to be in charge of the communeYou don't have to worry about a bloody coup from me, no sir! I'm a great follower! Aye aye chief!
- •I can sewMostly buttons....but how hard can it be? I also know quilting theory.
- •I can tell you the plots and jokes of a TON of Simpsons episodesThat will come in handy when we don't have a TV....or electricity. And if you don't like the Simpsons I don't know if this commune will last honestly.
- •I know a lot about how to kill ZombiesAim for the head! I mean, if it comes to that.
- •I can start a fireSorta, probably more like keep the fire going. And that's like 80% of the battle. I didn't have a furnace or AC until I was 15 so I know a lot about how to regulate body temperature. More humble brags!
- •Not afraid of spidersAs long as they're not going to try and touch me. Ick It's called personal space spiders!
- •I can ride a horseI mean, the horse does most of the work and you get most of the credit. Thanks horse!
- •I know which berries are safe to eatAnd that granola is going to get awfully dull without those am I right?
- •I know which mushrooms are safe to eatJust kidding mushrooms are disgusting!