Why you're gonna want me in your commune

Post apocalyptic or just off the grid hippies, I'm a valuable asset!
  1. I can grow the hell out of some plants
    I know it might not seem like I'm the farming type (and I'm not. I love me some grocery store) what with my prone to 3rd degree sun burn skin but I grew up on a hippy farm and once grew a sunflower the size of a car tire. Humble brag!
  2. I don't want to be in charge of the commune
    You don't have to worry about a bloody coup from me, no sir! I'm a great follower! Aye aye chief!
  3. I can sew
    Mostly buttons....but how hard can it be? I also know quilting theory.
  4. I can tell you the plots and jokes of a TON of Simpsons episodes
    That will come in handy when we don't have a TV....or electricity. And if you don't like the Simpsons I don't know if this commune will last honestly.
  5. I know a lot about how to kill Zombies
    Aim for the head! I mean, if it comes to that.
  6. I can start a fire
    Sorta, probably more like keep the fire going. And that's like 80% of the battle. I didn't have a furnace or AC until I was 15 so I know a lot about how to regulate body temperature. More humble brags!
  7. Not afraid of spiders
    As long as they're not going to try and touch me. Ick It's called personal space spiders!
  8. I can ride a horse
    I mean, the horse does most of the work and you get most of the credit. Thanks horse!
  9. I know which berries are safe to eat
    And that granola is going to get awfully dull without those am I right?
  10. I know which mushrooms are safe to eat
    Just kidding mushrooms are disgusting!