@LongStoryLonger wrote a lovely Bob Ross quotes list that sparked this guy. Go nuts.
  1. Bob Ross: with a dislocated shoulder
    "And we'll just take this lonely lost humerus and jam him right back into his friend the labrum. Like I always say, everyone needs a friend."
  2. Bob Ross: getting eaten by a bear.
    "Go ahead and rip a little of my face and lightly rearrange it wherever you want. Good, that's it. However you think it should be, that's exactly how it should be. You can do anything here, the only prerequisite is that it makes you happy."
  3. Bob Ross: finding out he has herpes.
    "There's nothing wrong with having an STD as a friend."
  4. Bob Ross: being buried alive in the forest.
    "Use a gentle touch to suffocate me with this dirt. Don't make too much noise now, this is a happy place. Little squirrels live here and play."
  5. Bob Ross: defusing a bomb.
    "Blue wire or red wire? Well, that's the beauty of it, friends. The choice is all yours. Find freedom in this explosive. Talk to the bomb, make friends with it. It'll show you the way."
  6. Bob Ross: surgically implanting a pacemaker for the first time.
    "We don't really know where this goes-- and I'm not sure we really care." No additions/ substitutions necessary on this one. Thank you, Bob.