For all you time traveling non-committals out there.
  1. WWII
    Growing weary of all those needy, self-absorbed letters? Send a blank piece of paper in return. He'll be so distracted he'll probably get shot and die. Problem solved.
  2. The Paleolithic Era
    So you met this cute Cro-Magnon boy last week and now he won't. stop. drawing. on your cave walls. Common problem. Here's the fix: scrub them clean and if he confronts you about it, say you never got them.
  3. Italian Renaissance
    Art show? Boring. Intermittently send messages via carrier pigeon that always say "5 mins away". Repeat until art show comes to its merciful end.
  4. Oregon Trail
    Simply die of dysentery. He/she will catch on when they discover your lifeless body on the trail 3 weeks later.
  5. Colonial Times
    Tell him/her you're moving. Give a fake address in Roanoke for quill pal correspondence. It'll sort itself out eventually. Side note: Roanoke, the most elaborate ghost job ever.
  6. Ancient Greece
    Tell them you're training for this new thing called the "Olympics" and won't be in polis for a few months. If he/she sees you in the stands, promptly stab them in the eye with an olive branch. Peace for all.
  7. Middle Ages
    That knight you met at the joust won't stop trying to get inside your corset. Ask him to slay a dragon for you. He'll be gone for months! If he returns with the dragon's gold, say you're really into silver now.
  8. The Roaring Twenties
    Shit. You met him at a speakeasy last week and never returned his call. Well wouldn't you know it, he just showed up at your flapper party. Quick, hide in a pile of cash and feathered headdresses until the stock market crashes.
  9. 1 A.D.
    He and his two friends are riding ALL the way to Bethlehem to hang with you and your friends? Seems desperate. Make up a story about a magic baby and say you'll meet them there.
  10. The year 3016
    Turn off hippocampus read receipts and ignore all incoming iNeuron messages. Tried and true.
  11. Primordial Soup
    Incessant chemical trying to bond into an amino acid? Swim to the other side of the pond until you both die off in a couple thousand years. Life will go on. Actually, it probably won't in this case, but what were you supposed to do? Be honest and direct? Ridiculous!