1. I wonder if he's ever messed up.
  2. Like, really messed up.
  3. To the point where there's nothing more he can do and he's forced to spin the chair around and say, "hey man. I messed up."
  4. It'll probably happen to me now that I've said that.
  5. I've put it out there into the universe.
  6. It's over, he's gonna mess up.
  7. Ah, cool he didn't mess up.
  8. $5 tip for not messing up.
  9. He's gonna love me for this $5 tip.
  10. His eyes will light up. Next time I walk in he'll remember. And he'll give me a haircut for the ages.
    Yeah, a haircut for the ages.
  11. He's opening the register. The moment has arrived.
  12. No reaction.
  13. Huh...
  14. Well, la-dee-da.
  15. Mr. Fancy barber isn't impressed with my generous tip.
  16. Man, that really bugs me.
  17. Maybe I'll go to someone else next time.
  18. I mean, I GUESS I'll shake this guy's hand. Whatever.
  19. "See it easy, take you next time".
  20. Wait, what?
  21. ....................
  22. Did I actually look this guy in the eye and say, "See it easy, take you next time."
  23. The fuck is wrong with me.
  24. This is why you don't have a girlfriend, because you say shit like that.
  25. Did I forget how to do words?
  26. Did I just have a stroke?
  27. Form a coherent sentence, Eric.
  28. Oh, man. He's playing it off like it didn't happen.
  29. Like he didn't hear me say that ass backwards sentence.
  30. I can hear it repeating over and over in my head. Echoing throughout the barber shop.
    "See it easy, take you next time."
  31. This is the kind of thing that ruins a good barber/barbee relationship.
  32. I'd rather you just acknowledge it.
  33. Acknowledge my error so we can move past it.
  34. I can never have a normal conversation with him now. I'll always be worried about messing up my words.
    Is this how he feels after messing up someone's hair?
  35. He'll remember it next time I come in too. He'll be polite and pretend like he doesn't, but he will.
  36. You don't forget weird things like that.
  37. I could move to Chicago and come back in 10 years and he'd still remember when I said that weird thing to him.
  38. Should I switch barber shops?
  39. I like this barber shop.
  40. I bet he won't even remember.
  41. You're being neurotic. He'll go home and forget all about it.
  42. Maybe not, though.
  43. Maybe he'll have a good laugh about this with all his barber friends after I leave.
  44. I mean, I definitely wouldn't forget. It's kind of hilarious. Embarrassing for whoever said it. Which is me. Sooooo...
  45. "See it easy, take you next time."
  46. I'll never live this down. Might as well put it on my tombstone.