What Texts Really Mean

  1. Sure, I'll let you know.
    I'm never going to let you know. I will, however, let you toil in uncertainty until it becomes painfully clear that I do not intend to see your ass.
  2. K.
    Die.
  3. Anything ending in "..."
    Man fuck you.
  4. Haha.
    ???????????????????????
  5. I can't think of any more. Decoding texts is exhausting. Think on my behalf listers. K? Haha...
  6. We'll see
    Absolutely not.
    Suggested by   @izzy
  7. Interesting
    I totally disagree but don't want to explain why via text or ever
    Suggested by   @kate81
  8. It's really not a problem
    I'd gladly plunge myself into the glum depths of hell rather than do you this favor... but I'm polite so I'll do it. p.s. I hate you
    Suggested by   @socks
  9. Thanks!
    This is an obligation so I don't seem like an asshole but I feel no warmth towards you regarding this
    Suggested by   @srush
  10. On my way!
    Leaving soonish
    Suggested by   @srush
  11. We have to hang out soon!
    9/10 times only saying this as a formality and don't really plan on seeing you any time soon
    Suggested by   @caitlinnguyen
  12. Ah I see.
    I don't see. I probably am judging you. I don't intend on sending a follow up text to make this text less brutal.
    Suggested by   @brittscott
  13. Hmmmm.
    The fuck?!?!
    Suggested by   @sophiack
  14. (Five hours and still no answer, yet you've seen that they posted on FB, so you know they're still connected)
    You are not important to me.
    Suggested by   @pili_ervin
  15. Yeah!
    Ok I'm bored lets move on.
    Suggested by   @maggienificentt
  16. Be there in 5 mins
    Be there in 20 minutes
    Suggested by   @cordeliane