THINGS I SAY TO SEEM LAID BACK

  1. "I don't care what time we meet for the movie"
    I really, really care. I need popcorn, a potential bathroom stop, and I wanna see the previews. And I want to gossip during the ads. I need time, damnit.
  2. "It'll be done in twenty minutes"
    I say this about work projects that would realistically take an hour. But I want to seem like an incredibly fast worker so instead I stress myself out for 20 minutes. Idk what is wrong with me.
  3. "Yeah, we can just share dessert"
    I don't know your dessert needs. Mine are real and intense. What if there is only one raspberry on top of the chocolate cake? I need the raspberry.
  4. "Let's get drinks sometime"
    Honestly meeting for drinks is a horrible way to catch up with someone and I never know the score when it comes to ordering food. Should I eat beforehand? Or do you want to munch on bar food? I hate this.
  5. "I'll just pay for it"
    I do this when it comes to nicer hotels, valet parking and good seats at concerts. I don't want to go 40 rounds on what room we should get and I like nice things--and I'm willing to pay. I'd rather just pay the difference for yours so I don't have to sit in the nosebleeds at a concert. So while this seems like a laid back, generous thing, I'm honestly being incredibly selfish.
  6. "Yeah I'll do it this weekend"
    I say this to employers to make myself seem like a team player and a dedicated worker. In reality I'm bitter they are eating into my Netflix time.