Thoughts nearly 24 hours after the election

Like half of our country I've been a mess after the results but given that my coworkers are pretty apathetic/ on the conservative side I haven't had much time to process my emotions until now
  1. I spent the day mourning, part of me wanting to check Facebook constantly between bathroom breaks, and the other part wanting to turn off social media
  2. All I can process right now is that I feel mad, and sad and confused.
  3. I'm so grateful that I have the privilege of feeling these emotions instead of sheer terror like my lgbtq, Muslim, black, latinx brothers and sisters.
  4. Although I am a woman of color, I am grateful that I was raised both upper middle class, and that I was born into what is considered the "model minority".
  5. Anger isn't good, and tomorrow I will begin the process of healing and trying to move forward.
  6. But for now, I am mad. I'm mad at the people that didn't want to vote because they thought both HRC and Trump were "equally terrible options".
    If you did not vote, you do not get to sympathize and be mad and scared like the rest of us. You helped trump win.
  7. I'm also mad at the people who voted third party for president. Now was never the time to vote third party, and in my very limited scope of people that did—they all came from some level of privilege, or at the very least misplaced and ignorant idealism.
    No one cares about your insistence on sticking to your values when the opponent that we are all trying to defeat is talking about repealing everything Obama has done for this country and a whole lot more.
  8. I'm mad at so many other people with differing views, because now all I see is that we have lost by not voting for the ONLY viable opponent to the man we were all trying to defeat.
  9. I also feel sad, and devastated.
    At the fact that I won't be able to say that in 2016, we had a woman president who would've championed the issues I believed in and moved us in the right direction.
  10. I'm sad that America is so divided and full of bigoted, misinformed and sick people that have elected this monster as president.
  11. I'm sad, and scared at the headlines that I know I'll be seeing within the next four years, of innocent people being killed, deported, forced to possibly absolve their marriage, and forced to carry through a pregnancy that they physically or mentally can't handle.
  12. I'm sad because even if trump does nothing significant as president, that this has given the terrible and bigoted people validation in their hateful feelings. And that this hatred of what isn't white, male, Christian, heterosexual or within the gender binary will continue and thrive during these four years.
    And that other sexual offenders and victims alike will now think that you really can get away with anything, that violating a person's body will not lead to any serious consequences.
  13. And lastly, I'm confused. I'm lucky? (Happily ignorant?) to know very few trump supporters in my life, but some of the ones I do know seem like well mannered, non radical people. And I'm confused as to how such people could vote for a man as terrible as him.
  14. I think it's too easy to paint all supporters as white and male because let's be honest, some and possibly many may be uninformed minorities and I'm confused because I want to know why they'd ever support a man who hated everything they are.
  15. Tomorrow I will be fired up and hopeful and on the path to healing. Today and tonight however, I'll allow myself to grieve.