What it feels like to look for (and fail at) my first job out of college

Hi. Like I said last time I'm unemployed and going through a lot of post college feelings so I thought I'd share them.
  1. I graduated May 14 from Trinity University with a Bachelor of Arts in Art History and Classics.
  2. I remember around March starting to really buckle down on my search and had high hopes for my "perfect" job.
  3. I wanted to work with an institution in the arts be it a gallery, museum etc. but I didn't want to do like registrar or public programs stuff. I wanted to be WITH the art. I also knew that I didn't want to be in Texas or to drive.
  4. I'd set my sights on the East Coast, Portland or Seattle.
    That's how I imagined my life.
  5. I remember scrolling endlessly for the PERFECT position to apply to and feeling so nervous and giddy after each carefully selected organization.
  6. Unfortunately after a few months and zero response from any of the organizations I'd sent countless cover letters and resumes to, I started "lowering my standards" and applied to anything remotely in the arts.
  7. The only piece of comforting information I had was that most people from my graduating class were struggling to find a job too. And I also had a new house and roommates I really enjoyed to distract me.
  8. I applied to this part time job in San Antonio that actually seemed really cool. After the interview, which I thought went pretty well, I got really excited because I could see myself there for a while.
  9. Butttt I didn't get the job, and this combined with the consistent lack of hearing back from anyone made me question everything and life looked grim
  10. I knew it was still early and I had time but people around me were/ are finally starting to get jobs and my savings were quickly starting to dwindle as the days turned into weeks and months. Rent checks and bills cause me anxiety that I'll be forced to work in retail or fast food when all I really wanted was my first "grown up" job.
  11. I feel like I should've ended this on some uplifting note or about something insightful I've learned but really the only way to sum up my continuous experience through this is that I've learned I just have to be more accepting.
  12. I've been trying to accept that these things take time and that I chose a difficult field to find a job in— and that I may just need to get a temporary job to make things meet, be it for the summer or to the whole year. But sometimes it's hard.
  13. Like I know I'm still ridiculously young and my first post college job doesn't necessarily need to be something glamorous or perfect but it's hard not to compare myself to my peers who are at least getting jobs or even interviews in something they're interested in.
  14. Also isn't it good to have dreams and want what's best for you even if it is out of your reach right now? To have something, even if it's not THE thing, to strive for sounds better than having nothing right?
  15. But at least I've become very good at marathoning episodes of cutthroat kitchen.