My Broken Bones
I hold the family record, and intend to keep it.
- 1.Age 3 — Left arm, when I fell off a bathroom counter
- 2.Age 4 — Collarbone, when Peter [last name redacted] pushed me off the playground structure at preschool. Dick.
- 3.Age 5 — Left wrist, when falling off a bike (you will soon notice a pattern).
- 4.Age 6 — Left wrist, when falling off a bike.
- 5.Age 7 or 8 — Left wrist, when falling off a bike.
- 6.Age 10 — Left wrist, when falling off a bike. This was my first "adult" break.
- 7.Age 15 — Right middle finger, when playing water polo. I spent the next few weeks flipping everyone the bird while elevating my finger on a splint in class.
- 8.Age 21 — Dislocated right knee, when dancing at a party in Australia (This is not technically a broken bone, but was still terrible).
- 9.Age 29 — Left ankle, when falling on ice. Dick.