Reasons Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Randall Fraser Should Stay In The Future

I'm super into Outlander — the books and the TV show — but I have a lot of concerns. Spoiler alert, obviously.
  1. Let's start with the obvious counterpoint: Yes, Jaime is super hot.
    I get it. So hot. So charming. So noble. All the sex. Much kilts. True love. Yadda yadda yadda.
  2. BUT... The past is terrible.
    SO FUCKING TERRIBLE.
  3. Like, Claire lands in the past and the FIRST THING that happens is she is almost raped.
    By her husband's evil ancestor, no less! Like, maybe leave? Pretty much everyone in the story eventually gets raped. Not that that doesn't happen in the present, but at least things are marginally better (Rape Culture Is Still A Thing).
  4. Everyone thinks she's either a spy or a whore.
    These are obviously the only two options, except they eventually conclude she's a witch. And put her on trial for it. THIS IS THE INEVITABLE CONCLUSION OF BEING A MODERN WOMAN MAROONED IN THE 18th CENTURY. And, like, she keeps getting mistaken for a witch. Her husband straight-up tells people she's a witch (AFTER SHE WAS IN A LITERAL WITCH TRIAL). This is not a thing that goes away. I'm eight books and 35 years of narrative time in and folks still think she's a witch.
  5. She is forced to get married for protection.
    Single women are powerless. She literally changes nationalities by getting married to a Scot. And then, 35 years later, the same plot device shows up and she marries some other dude for protection. HOW IS THIS A THING THAT HAPPENS TWICE? Of course, as a married woman, there's even more agency issues.
  6. LIKE GETTING BEATEN BY HER NEW HOT HUSBAND.
    THIS WAS CONSIDERED TOTALLY OK. WIFE BEATING IS JUST JUSTICE BEING SERVED, NOTHING TO SEE HERE!
  7. She's basically chattel.
    Women can't vote, own property, have their own money, take positions of leadership, work outside the home. Just because her hot Scottish husband is cool with her doing her doctor stuff doesn't make any of that other shit go away.
  8. As a married woman, she can't even testify at a trial.
    LIKE. HUH. WHAT?
  9. And then, there's the whole "the past is terrible" thing.
    Why the fuck would you give up modern plumbing? And cars? And antibiotics? And chocolate. CHOCOLATE. And suffrage? Team 20th Century.
  10. Travel options are basically foot, horse or boat.
    These options are sooooooo slow. And, they get shipwrecked like five times. Air travel is SO MUCH SAFER.
  11. HOLY SHIT THE MEDICAL PROCEDURES!
    Yes, she's trained in modern medicine but amputations and hands smashed and smallpox and no anesthesia how is everyone not dead holy shit CHILDBIRTH.
  12. The clothes are beautiful but ultimately oppressive.
    Like, sure, I'd cut a bitch to wear that red dress Claire wore to Versailles in season two for one night, but I'll take yoga pants and sneakers any other time. Corsets? Insane amounts of skirts? How the fuck do you farm in that shit? Or do anything at all? No wonder you're not thinking about your inalienable rights as a citizen and human being; you can't fucking breathe.
  13. And yet, she keeps on choosing to stay in the past, which makes no fucking sense at all.
    At one point, after returning to the future to raise a daughter, she inexplicably goes BACK TO THE TERRIBLE PLACE WHERE SHE HAS NO RIGHTS AT ALL. How good could the sex be? Really? That good?
  14. My god, Claire, YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE INTERNET.