Things I Eat Even Though I Know It Will Give Me a Headache

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM SELF-DESTRUCTION.
  1. Coffee
    There is no Monday morning — or any morning, really — without all the coffee.
  2. Chocolate
    Abstaining is absurd. Don't try.
  3. Brie, Parmesan, sharp cheddar
    A life with just cream cheese is basically bullshit.
  4. Bacon, sausage
    Except for BLTs, these are actually the two easiest things to give up. But still, I love the thrill of knowing my head is going to hurt like a bitch in 8-12 hours.
  5. Fresh bread
    WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER GIVE UP WARM, DELICIOUS CARBS?
  6. Bourbon
    "Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets." —Ron Swanson
  7. Nuts
    PB&J 4 LYFE.