An Acceptance Speech

Because I feel like I deserve an award for making it through the past 6 weeks which were particularly hellish.
  1. First of all, I'd like to thank God...
    Obviously. This sounds like a joke, but it's not. My faith sustains me, truly. But brace yourself - the rest of this list is moderately to very shallow.
  2. ...I'd also like to thank Netflix for new episodes of Kimmy Schmidt.
    Tina Fey is a national treasure.
  3. ...I'd be remiss if I didn't thank podcasts
    For keeping my brain from turning to jelly and also distracting me from the horsecrappery of this month. My current faves are the Popcast, 2 Dope Queens, Love and Radio, and This American Life always and forever.
  4. ...many thanks to sincere emails/texts from nice people
    These way outnumbered the dumb dumbs who said dumb things. Related: I'm working on being more gracious.
  5. ... Shoutout to the massage therapist and aesthetician, both named Katie, at Myo spa in Austin.
    Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you two hours of bliss in the form of a facial and a massage. This place is legit.
  6. ... thanks to Santa's Pub in Nashville. I did some good grieving there.
    I'm so glad I live in a world where I can sing karaoke in a double wide trailer decorated for Christmas and be warmly welcomed by an intoxicated crowd of back-up singers. Thanks to them, I really did believe for a moment that I could fly. And touch the sky.
  7. ... I'd like to thank my man RP for not being mad that I didn't cook dinner one time in the month of April.
    Someone had to keep chipotle in business post E. coli scare.
  8. ... Let's hear it for the Hamilton Soundtrack.
    for times when I wanted some vaguely accurate history lessons to a sick hip hop beat (?!).
  9. ... Props to my parents, Michael and Gail.
    For delivering homemade food, German gummy candy, and your dog's Xanax to my office during tough days. I now know you guys love me more than the yorkies.
  10. ...And finally, I couldn't have made it without breakfast tacos. Thank you.
    Obviously.