Reasons I Am Wearing Earbuds

I wear earbuds about 6 of 8 hours of my workday and recently got called out for it. Here are some reasons I am wearing earbuds.
  1. I edit videos.
    Me attempting to cut the perfect audio in/out is super annoying to anyone else. I am so nice!
  2. Loud snapchat videos.
    Your baby saying quinoa, your dog saying "mama"... It's better if my coworkers think I'm tweeting for work.
  3. I don't want to talk to you.
    Or anyone. Earbuds make me look unavailable. Earbuds = an introverts enabler. (Maybe the #1 reason)
  4. Early morning small talk is my worst nightmare.
    I walk into work wearing earbuds. Polite wave and smile is all y'all get. (See above)
  5. My family doesn't love me enough to buy me Beats.
    I ask for them for every holiday/birthday. Everyone thinks I'm joking and I'm not. No one understands me.
  6. I can pretend to ignore someone without seeming rude.
    Maladaptive coping strategy? Maybe.
  7. Podcasts.
    I'm a millennial. These podcasts aren't going to listen to themselves.
  8. Sometimes I want to listen to my embarrassing pop music in peace.
    I love Bieber's new album. Not ironically.
  9. I look way busy/important/cool.
    Do I get a rush from removing an earbud with an exasperated, "YES?!" when a colleague stands in my doorway? Yes. Yes I do.