17 Weeks and 4 Days

November 6th
  1. Will it happen forever?
  2. Just like the last 17 weeks and 4 days?
  3. 17 weeks and 4 days today
  4. That's 123 days
  5. And 123 nights of nightmares
  6. Full of you
  7. Your face. Your silhouette. Your hair. Your breath. Your skin.
  8. Your skin pressed against mine
  9. Your rough fingers wrapped around my throat
  10. Your arm mashed against my chest
  11. All crushing the air I was trying to breathe
  12. I couldn't move no matter how hard as I tried
  13. And all I wanted you to do was stop
  14. I told you to stop
  15. I begged you to stop
  16. To let me go
  17. But you didn't listen
  18. I kicked you and I fought you and I tried to get away
  19. But it was nothing next to your strength
  20. You towered over me
  21. But I still tried
  22. I focused on the shape of your head
  23. And the muffled song from the other side of the wall
  24. I just wanted someone to hear me scream
  25. To hear me over the music
  26. I heard the melody
  27. And the vocals
  28. And the 19,000 people singing along
  29. I focused on the words
  30. "The wheel is turning and you can't slow down You can't let go and you can't hold on You can't go back and you can't stand still If the thunder don't get you then the lightning will"
  31. I used to like that song
  32. When I close my eyes, it's what I hear
  33. For the last 4 months
  34. 123 days
  35. It's the soundtrack of my bad dreams
  36. The dreams that come every night
  37. When I finally fall asleep
  38. And I'm left to wonder...
  39. Will you always haunt my dreams?