My neighbor, the local Lothario, is getting the weekend started and lucky me, I get to share a wall with him! That means...
  1. Ginuwine's "Pony" song on repeat for 3 days straight
    Lyrics include: "You're horny, let's do it, ride it, my pony, my saddle is waiting, come and jump on it." And "I wanna get nasty baybayyyyyyy." Now listen, I'll break that shit down any day. I mean, who can resist those sexy lyrics?! But at some point let's try a new jam? LL Cool J's "Doin' it" works too and I already know all the words.
  2. Things go bump in the night
    Clearly Lothario, or Rio as I like to call him, gains Superman strength when it's time to perform because someone is getting bounced all around. It really sounds like they're enjoying the slams into the wall. I know I am!
  3. Random knocks on my door
    Drunk ladies sometimes get confused with two doors next to each other. I mean, I can imagine the large, bold black numbers on the two doors might get confusing. Numbers are confusing, guys! 2️⃣0️⃣ - I'm confused already!
  4. Various giggles and laughter
    She seems really happy, which in turn, makes me happy! Who doesn't love hours worth of muffled giggles when someone is being tickled?
  5. Yelling
    Previous ladies sometimes find out about newer ladies and they sometimes don't like that. And on occasion, when we're really lucky, one of them comes back just to make sure he knows that she knows and she's not happy about it.
  6. Porn star moaning
    Sexy right? That doesn't sound over the top at all. I'm positive she's not faking it on this 7th time around. NEVER.
  7. Furniture durability tests
    You've clearly invested in some quality shit over there, Rio. That headboard is clearly made of the solidest oak on the planet. Someone should give that manufacturer a glowing review on Amazon for quality craftsmanship. I know who to ask when I but my next bed!
  8. Skin slapping
    Spanking is a GO with about 80% of the roster so clearly you're doing something right with the pressure level , Rio. Smack that ass 👋🏽!
  9. I know what you're packing
    According to the word on the street, you're packing heat. It sounds like you know what you've got, as well, since "you're so big" is a repeated phrase. Congratulations!
  10. To the lucky ladies of this fine, Halloween weekend, get yours!
  11. Also, USE A CONDOM.
  12. UPDATE: just got back home and he's changed music finally - D'Angelo. Currently, I'm singing loudly because who doesn't want some brown sugar?