New Features @thelistapp Is Rolling Out

@list is ahead of the curve with their updates so here's what we have to look forward to. (From the drafts 📂 but I changed the title to lowercase because I embrace change, dammit!)
  1. List Nap
    For when you need to sleep, it holds your notifications for you so you're not disturbed.
  2. List Tap
    For when you've slid off the app and boned another user, you get a happy message with confetti and high fives.
  3. List Clap
    For when you've slid off the app and boned another List App user and contracted an STD, it tells you the closest clinic and pharmacy to get your script filled.
  4. List Smack
    For when someone thinks you're looking good and they want to smack that ass, a List App team member is deployed to make it happen.
  5. A-List Blast
    For when you've mentioned too many celebrities in a list, your account gets frozen 1 hour for every celeb called out.
  6. List Slap
    For when you're being an asshole and you need to get slapped. An anonymous stranger is deployed to do the dirty work.
  7. List Cap
    For when you've over posted, your account is locked for 12 hours.
  8. List Sap
    When you're dropping too many feelings into a list, your phone will automatically overheat.
  9. Fist Gap
    For when you've held your iPhone for too long and your hands are cramped up and frozen and can no longer make a fist leaving a gap, the app tells you where the local hand and foot massage joint is. To find out places you can get a happy ending, there's an in-app purchase you can buy. List App also tells you you have no life.
  10. And it's just the beginning, kids.