Sucky 2016 Things
There's a counter list don't worry. Just purging the shit that was 2016. PS. I wrote this in December.
- •Visiting my grandmother for probably the last timeI didn't think it would get me as she's been mean to everyone, especially me, my entire life. Seeing her at 85 lbs, hunched over, and needing help made me see her as human and vulnerable. She's my last grandparent and I don't have great memories of her, but I was given her name and it's the name we've always called her and it's the name I'll carry on.
- •Finding out a friend committed suicide (I want to post her photo but for privacy reasons I'm not)Beth was the first person in LA to warmly embrace me even before we moved there. She was my boyfriend's best friend's wife and her smile and presence were nothing short of infectious. She just finished directing her first film this summer, one she's been trying to make for 10+ years and she did it. Now she won't be here to see what becomes of it. I wish she knew just how incredible she was and how much her soul radiated. Some people will never leave you and she's one of them.
- •Finding out one of my best friends has cancerThe first friend I met on my own when I moved to LA. The kindest, funniest, most talented person you could meet. So hoping she kicks this. She has to kick this. Especially for her two young sons.
- •Finding out another friend has Stage 3 colon cancerHe has a long way to go with his treatment of stage 3 colon cancer but he just finished radiation and chemo. I met him when I was 14 when he was a guitarist in a band. We became friends and I worked for his band for years. He really helped me at times when I needed him and I'm hoping he beats the hell out of this. I still, after all these years, have a mad crush on him.
- •A friend dying in his sleepI've known Kip since childhood and we reconnected when he started a band after high school. Since then, he moved to Portland, got married and had two kids. He died in his sleep in March. A reminder that life can change in an instant.
- •NightmaresOn an almost nightly basis for the last 13 months. I don't really talk about it but maybe it will help release them somewhere besides my dreams?
- •Lingering throat issuesSo incredibly minor and trivial compared to the above. But it affects my life and livelihood.
- •AsthmaAfter landing in the ER within 24-48 hours after traveling to NC 4x in 12 months, they finally diagnosed me with adult onset asthma that's allergy induced. Legit - my doctor said I was allergic to NC and I agree. Highest rate of adult asthma and allergies in the country. It's finally managed for when I enter that questionable state I sometimes visit.